Get Your Hair Done and Quit Your Real Job: March is never a lamb...

Last night as I lay down in my bed getting ready to be released into dreamland, it hit me. Twenty two years ago tomorrow (March 10) I gave birth to my first born Son. His name is Taylor and he changed my world. I was a 22 year old girl when I got pregnant with him. His father, Trevor, and I had been living together for 4 years by then. It was no surprise that I was pregnant and we were excited and so unprepared for a child. Suddenly, I had to grow up and become responsible and start thinking of someone besides myself. Taylor became my world. Now, he is the same age that I was. I hope (and secretly KNOW) that I have raised him right. He is a good and caring man. I know that whatever happens in his life he will take it on and do well with it. Taylor I love you.
When the porter was wheeling me out of the delivery room the doctor asked me when I was going to have my next one. I said two years.
Exactly two years later I would be in a surgical suite being induced to give birth to my twin boys. They were already named. Had been for months. We knew that they were boys. The first born would be Jason and the second born would be Matthew. I had had a stress test and the doctors believed the babies would be viable to be born at 35 1/2 weeks. They approximated their birth weights at 5lb 6oz and 6lb 2 oz. Big Baby Boys!
My doctor thought that the delivery would be relatively quick and easy. Since I was giving birth at the UofA hospital which is a teaching hospital for every doctor or nurse there was going to be a resident or student attending the birth. It was like a Broadway show! Off Broadway in any case.
So, there was my Doctor and a student, a doctor for each of the babies and a student for each of them, there was a nurse for me and a student for her, there was a nurse for each of the babies and at least one student was with each of them. Trevor wasn't allowed in. There were so many people in that room and it was so stark and cold and brightly lit.
The delivery was long. So very very long. We started with the induction in the morning and I didn't give birth to Jason until evening. Then it took an hour and a half to give birth to Matthew. You see, my little boys were overachievers. They weren't near 5 and 6 pounds. NO. They were each 7 pounds and 11 ounces!! Matthew was unfortunately transverse in the womb. That means sideways. No matter how hard the doctor and nurses tried he wouldn't straighten out and when he finally did, it was a bit too late. Matthew didn't get enough oxygen and he was born without very much brain function. If you didn't touch him first on the toes and run your hand up his body he would have seizures. Oh boy, was he a beautiful baby though! We had an extremely difficult choice to make and we did. Twenty five year old kids should never have to make that choice but we did. I love you Matthew. He and Jason were identical. Luckily, all these years I have been able to imagine what he would look like just by looking at Jason. Jason seems to have adopted his brother's personality because that kids has tonnes of it. I love you Jason.
The death of our son also was the beginning of the death of my first marriage. We just couldn't bounce back. There was a lot of love left but the connection was unravelled. We managed to love each other enough to have another child who is amazing. His name is Jake. He's a sweet boy who is almost grown himself. He is 17 years old. I love you Jake.
I have been very blessed with my 4 sons and everything they have taught me. Each one has taught me so many lessons and helped me to be the "grown-up" adult woman than I am.
They are amazing. I don't know how my life would have been without them and I don't want to know. We are having a Birthday Party tonight for Taylor and Jason (and Matthew).
Here are some photos of my boys from Eldest to Youngest.