I found this blog post that I wrote last year.

I wrote it on November 22, 2010 for a blog I was going to call, "As good as bacon" but for some reason didn't even start. I didn't even publish this post. It was an important one. Some things have changed since then...


I am not a writer but I am going to write about my life, health, happiness, and how I intend to get there. I am going to write about the beautiful things in life. 
Last night I went to the hospital in the middle of the night with chest pains, shortness of breath, and dizzyness. That scared the proverbial SHIT out of me. I suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis and possibly Lupus (there are 5% of Lupies that are ANA negative and I am quite possibly one of them). As well as RA and possible lupus I have Hashimoto's disease which is an autoimune disease that attacks one's thyroid gland. 
I work. I work hard. I work as a special education assistant and it is physically, emotionally, and mentally challenging. 
Needless to say, I am exhausted. All the time. Never ending. 


I WANT TO CHANGE THAT! I want to enjoy my life. There is so much to do and learn and experience on this planet and I want to do all of it. 
So, I was at the doctor's today for my weekly shot of methotrexate. He said I smelled awful. Of cigarettes. I am sure I did. I smoke. It's disgusting. When he said that He also told me that if I chose to stop smoking in the future come to him and we'd talk about options. After that, he did a check up and a final appointment for my back injury sustained at work. Then he gave me my shot. Then I asked him to help me quit smoking. I've tried the patches (I am allergic to the adhesive and they just fall off), the gum and lozenges, and wellbutrin. I've even tried quitting "cold turkey". Smoking is tough to stop. Very tough. We decided that I will try Champix. I hope I don't get in trouble for mentioning product names. With this drug you are supposed to lose the craving for cigarettes. I sure as hell hope so. 
I injured my back, so I haven't been able to do yoga for some time. Every day I go to a physical rehabilitation program. I believe in it. When I am able, I am going to return to yoga and possibly Bikram's hot yoga. 
I have plans tonight...so I am going to stop boring you with my first post. The last thing that I am going to say is that I am going to change my eating habits. I've already started by eating smaller portions. Realistic portions. Not portions that will feed a 357 lb sumo wrestler. Normal woman sized portions. Last week at the clinic where my rehab takes place people leaving the program brought doughnuts. LOTS of doughnuts. One day there were seriously 6 boxes of doughnuts for 20 people. Do you want to know how many of those irristable doughnuts I ate? None. Not a one. Do you know hard that was?