Days 5 and 6

Yesterday was a tough day so I apologise for missing a blogging day. My goal is to blog every day for the full 30 days. I will try to make that happen, but sometimes it's not going to.
On with the show!
Rounding out MY THREE SONS...hey, that sounds like a reality show. Or something.
Taylor. He is my eldest son. The first thing that I am thankful for with this kid is that 21 years ago, and change, he helped me have the closest thing to a natural childbirth that I ever had. I had an epidural but it didn't take as my body doesn't like local anaesthetic. The only intervention I recall is that I had an episiotomy. In the big scheme of things...that's nothing. At least I can speak with some knowledge and conviction that a natural childbirth can be managed. I am so thankful that my son has grown up to be the man I thought and hoped he would be. He is thoughtful and kind. Taylor is (as far as I know) a good partner as well (Richelle-tell me differently if he isn't and I'll kick his ass). This son had something happen to him when he was 17 yrs old that could have altered his life forever, in a bad way. Taylor was hit by a truck while crossing the street on a rainy evening after escorting his female friend to the bus stop so she would be safe (that's the way my kids roll). He got a brain injury that made it impossible to finish high school. However, he didn't let that disable him when he could have. Despite the headaches and other problems that accompany the injury to this day, he has found a good job and excels at it. It's got room for upward movement. Even then, he is thinking of going to school when he and his girlfriend have that option. I am thankful for him. His hugs are amazing. You should try them. I love you Taylor.

Today, Grateful number 6.
This is almost MIND BLOWING. Today I am thankful for my husband, Philip. There are countless reasons starting with...who takes on a woman with 3 little kids while she is a University student and crazy? Who? C'mon, if you know someone let me know.
Anyway, that's the first of many things but today I had to put another tick on the wall.
I have rheumatoid arthritis and query lupus (that means I am sera-negative but the signs point to lupus). Every day and every week I have to take quite a few different medications. One of those medications is called methotrexate. It's an immune suppressant so that my body doesn't fight itself at every turn and cause extreme swelling in joints and organs and cause severe pain. When taken orally it works but taken as an injection it's supposed to work even better. As I wasn't seeing much of an improvement taking those 10 tablets every Wednesday (thus causing me to be ill every Thursday) my rheumatologist and I decided that taking a weekly injection would be a better idea. Now, I've had the injection before. I had to go into the clinic every week and even with an appointment I would sometimes have to wait up to 2 hours to get in and see the doctor to get the injection. Almost every week the receptionists would lose my medicine and tell me that I must have taken it home only to find it (luckily) before my 2 hour waiting period was up. Needless to say, it was a pain in the ass to wait for the injection and I ended up "forgetting" and not going and missing my dosage and finally gave it up. I am not the most compliant patient. I have patience but not THAT much patience.
Fast forward to today. We'd already agreed that Philip would give me the injection. For the last two nights I've been worrying and perseverating about him giving it to me. As it was going to be in my butt I worried that he would hit the sciatic nerve, that the needle would bounce of my rock hard glutes (hehehehe), that the needle would move and I'd bleed, that he'd pass out giving the needle, that I'd pass out getting the needle, that that that that ....OKAY...my worry NEVER stopped. Philip on the other hand was as cool as a cucumber. Every time I mentioned it he'd smile and reassure me that it was all good. It was like his closet career was nursing and that he had given injections every day for most of his adult life. No problem. Easy Peasy.
Soooooo, I decide that it's time to get this over and let him know that I wanted to get it done. NOW.
We both watched two more youtube instructional videos to make sure that we knew what we were doing. I took the lid off the vial of medication, wiped it with a swab (you don't have to but you can), and stuck the needle in to draw up the liquid. Did you know that's kind of tricky? It is. I did it though. I turned the syringe upright, checked for bubbles, tapped the syringe and pushed on the plunger expressing one tiny drop of medication. Ahhh sweet. My job was done. Now Philip's.
I dropped my drawers and laid down on the bed. I am assuming everything I am telling you now as I didn't actually see it. I was on my belly with my head buried in a pillow. Next I felt the cold wet as Philip swabbed the injection site with an alcohol swab in a clock-wise and spiral motion. Then nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
"Philip?" Nothing.
"Philip, are you going to do it?" "Is the needle in?"
"Tav, it's done"
"It's done?"
"It's done"
Philip just gave me the first injection I never felt. I didn't feel the needle going in. I didn't feel the medication going in. I didn't feel anything. It was his very first time ever giving an injection.
Then he started to shake. I could see his hands vibrating. I asked him why. He said that he was shaking because it was over.
From the very first time I told him (last week) that he would have to learn to give me injections he was worried. Terrified. He was scared that the needle would bounce off my butt, that he would pass out, that the needle would move and I would bleed...and the list went on. It was over and he could let that go. Today I am so thankful that he didn't share that with me. That he kept himself together. That's what he does with my illness. Every time something comes up he just rolls with the punches. The punches to my body that my body hits me with. Thank you Philip. I love you.

Philip with NOT the look he had on his face while giving me an injection.