Final blog post of the year?

It could be. It depends what else happens today.
Today I am grateful that my hubby asked me to walk the dogs with him. We have a route that we usually take. First, we walk down the hill to our neighbourhood park. This park is partly manicured and partly wild. It's a lovely place to meander in. If it hasn't rained in a bit we take the "wilder" paths. If it's like today and it "snowed" (for 3 min) and rained then it's better to stick to the paved paths. There are a lot of hills and I would rather not slip and fall down one. We usually end up going to visit the river with it's Yin and Yang aspects. It's soothing. A little jaunt up a hill and we are in the dog park. It's a gorgeous dog park with MASSIVE Mighty Oaks to visit with. The dogs play and I go say hi to the trees by sitting on a bench under their huge limbs. I love that spot in the summer too! It's cooler and the sunshine dapples through.
After we finish at the dog park we make our way through the neighbourhood. It's a wonderful neighbourhood. Today I took pictures of a rock garden at one of the homes and also some budding bushes at another. Lastly, we walk up a steep hill (there is no shortage of hills in New Westminster- you can't walk anywhere without climbing one) to our house. Today we left in the "snowshower" and within moments were enjoying amazing sunshine. It was brisk and crisp and I loved it.
For those of you who don't know what a Canadian Winter looks like...the following pictures should be illuminating.
The other thing I am thankful for? My iPhone camera. I always have a camera with me because I always have my iPhone with me. Here are some pictures of my walk today. I am sad I didn't take river pictures.

                                         

                                          There are huge mountains in this picture. You just can't see them. It's too cloudy.

                                          My house is on that hill, in this picture, but I can't find it. LOL

                                          I sort of think the rock on the right is petrified dung.

                                                     If you look closely you can see the white stripes in at least 3 of these                                stones..

Okay okay okay, these pictures are NOT indicative of a typical Canadian winter. These show what it's like in winter in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia. These winters are a lot of why I live here. There are a few other reasons. Like Mountains.

Not quite a thankful.

For Christmas and Yule this year I decided that I would make some of the gifts I was going to give. I have a sewing machine that my bestie gave me 3 Yules ago and I haven't really used it except to make some repairs in garments. It was time to start the learning curve and actually sew something.
I am insane. That is true so I made Mojo a 5 ft stuffed Godzilla for Yule. From scratch. Meaning there wasn't a pattern and I made it up in my head as I went. Unfortunately, I didn't take enough pictures to give you a step by step process but I will post a picture of the Godzilla after he was cut out of a beautiful green brocade.

At this point Godzilla was upwards of 6 feet. I was afraid to sew him and also to stuff him. I had never made anything like this before so  I wasn't sure how much stuffing it would take. It turns out that I under stuffed him just a little and his head flops. I will have Mojo bring him in for repairs soon.

Next, I thought it would be nice to make gifts for my coven-mates and their young daughter. Since I was still in the sewing mood, or perhaps, even more in the sewing mood...I sewed their gifts as well. I made them personalised poppets. I was going to make them out of a thick upholstery fabric that I have, which is nice, but got a better idea. It was in thinking about their daughter, who is six, that I thought the fabric should be soft. What if she wanted to actually touch or hold the poppet? It would have to be soft. I thought of using some old t-shirts that I had hanging about the house and that were ready to hit the thrift store but I changed my mind. Thinking of the Goddess and that she does not require aught of sacrifice I also remembered that sometimes giving a gift should hurt just a tiny bit. I had two Wigglian Way t-shirts in my dresser drawer. Not only are they made of the softest organic cotton, they each have the Wigglian logo on them. That means that between two t-shirts I would have a Goddess image for Linda and a God image for Chris. I cut the poppets out carefully trying to get as much as the image into the pattern. Then I sewed most of the doll up and stuffed it with proper stuffing and appropriate herbs for each person. I hand-stitched the poppets closed with tiny painstaking stitches. I say that now but I don't know if they are that tiny. Linda's has earrings made in Nepal out of peacock feathers. The women that make them are single mothers and this is their only income. I got them from a vendor that I actually care about. She is a Buddhist lady that will always have some gorgeous thing to say about one thing or another. She is the kind of woman that makes your heart soar. Linda and Chris' hand-fasting theme was peacock feathers and those vibrant colours on the feathers. So pretty.Peacock feathers remind of Linda every time I see them. Chris' poppet had a handmade broom/besom that I picked up at the "Broom Store" on Granville Island the same day that I got Mojo a full sized one for his birthday. It is to remind Chris that he is exceptionally good at what he does.
For their daughter I took a t-shirt that I love the pattern but hate the way it fits and made it into a "pony-tailed" poppet. The ponytails are made of "silly bandz" which I was pretty sure little girls are into right now. She can either leave the doll like that or use the bandz.

From left to right who the poppets belong to. Chris, Linda, their daughter. 
Last but not least. One day my son Taylor's girlfriend Richelle called me to ask if I had a sewing machine. Coincidentally, it was as I was building Godzilla. I of course said that yes I did and what was she thinking of making? Richelle thought that it would be a great idea to make Taylor a pair of pyjama bottoms as he is always stealing hers to wear. Well, in our family we have a tradition that on Christmas Eve we open ONE present. It is always a pair of pyjamas. Go figure. I don't know how that happens. Since I hadn't purchased Philip's yet and Jason and Jake weren't exactly getting them that year I thought that I would make a pair of bottoms for Philip. Jason and Jake actually got Oilers jerseys and boxers as a TOTAL surprise. I thought that they were going to have heart attacks to tell the truth. 
One evening Richelle and I headed to the fabric store and bought a pattern to share, two types of fabric, elastic, basting, and two colours of German thread. She chose a Buzz Lightyear for Taylor and I chose a Zoo themed fabric for Philip. We are not a serious family really. The bottoms were actually quite easy to make although I didn't understand one of the directions and made it up on my own. Believe it or not, the elastic actually fits. I chose the Zoo theme because from the time when Philip was a little boy in Dublin, Ireland he thought that giraffes were called "joxers". I don't know why but that it the way it is. When we went to the Dublin Zoo last year the first animal we saw was a giraffe. That zoo holds a few poignant memories for me. Although the animals are behind glass it was the closest I've ever been to tigers and gorillas. I was one foot away from the tiger as she was sleeping right next the glass. The gorilla seemed so much like us that I found it painful to watch the great Silverback and his family in captivity. Dublin Zoo is amazing and they have so much room for the animals to move in but it's still a zoo.
In any case, I got so much joy out of making those pyjama bottoms that I'd like to make more. It was a joy to look at the pattern while I was sewing them.

I hope that my friends and family enjoyed all their gifts, handmade and purchased. This Christmas was the best ever!

Grateful day # I don't know what

Today I am thankful for two nights of uninterrupted sleep. I love sleeping. Sleeping is especially nice. If I don't sleep I am growly and owly and mean. Family feuds (not with my immediate family luckily) have happened because of lack of sleep...MINE. When I don't sleep I have to do massive amounts of exercise to become at least a tiny bit compatible with the rest of the human planet. I am not particularly fond of massive amounts of exercise. When I am not rested the smallest thing can drive me to a screaming rage or broke down bawling binge. Therefore, you can plainly see that this girl needs to sleep.
How did I manage that sleep? I haven't taken any painkillers for my "little friend" (who's picture I will share with you shortly). My arm is burning and pulling but I don't care. Painkillers WRECK sleep...and then you have to take sleeping pills. Don't get me wrong. I like sleeping pills. They are too easy though. You can become dependant on them. So, I take another "medicine" that isn't quite legal and is most often smoked. You know the one. That one is good but I found that I was having to inhale more and more to get the result I wanted and then my old paranoia would slip in again. I hate  that. It makes me feel unloved. Weird hey? Anyway, I took away the painkillers, sleeping pills, and smoked medicine for awhile and then couldn't sleep for a few days. The Yule holiday may have had something to do with that though since I am a KID when it comes to opening presents on that special morning.
Finally though, after what seemed like a week or so (the same amount of time that it can take to start a feud) I have slept for two nights in a row without waking even once. Hip Hip Hooray! Also...no feuds. SWEET!

Little benign tumor that causes more pain than you would think.

PS. I take the painkiller for more than the tumor but for the most part that is the hurtiest spot on my body right now. 

11 Days?

Yes, it's been 11 days since I last posted. It could make a follower or reader think that I am not thankful at all but I SO am!
I am so lucky and so spoiled. Yesterday was Christmas and I got to have a festive meal with Philip, Taylor, Richelle, Jason, Jacob, Mojo, Tara and Jessy. It was so nice to prepare a meal for most of my favourite people.
I also got wonderful gifts. One made me cry. It looks like this... (you'll have to go follow the link as I don't know how to save a picture on my new laptop- the laptop that will help me post more often)
http://www.tiffany.ca/Shopping/Item.aspx?fromGrid=1&sku=27125107&mcat=148204&cid=563629&search_params=s+5-p+1-c+563629-r+-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+
I live a charmed life. This I know. This I am grateful for. I am not under any illusions as to my blessings.
More than receiving gifts I was able to give great gifts. Some gifts I bought but I did make quite a few of the ones that I gave this year.
For Philip I made pyjama bottoms in a very youthful fabric with zoo animals. I made a 5 ft stuffed Godzilla for Mojo complete with a golden tooth. For my covenmates and their young daughter I made stuffed poppets/dollies each with a personalised touch. I made an instant vanilla cappuccino for Taylor and Richelle. I think that is all I made this year.
I would like to take a sewing class this year. It would be fun to make personalised gifts for everyone next Yule/Christmas.
As soon as I figure out this new operating system and how this laptop works I will post some more photos.
Thank you for being patient. I appreciate it.
See you soon!

Is Thankful nobody has brought be to task when I am not even half way through.

Another post coming soon.

Lucky number 13...

I missed a day and that is part of my thankful.
For the last 4 days or so my elbow has been hurting very bad. Very Very Bad. Like someone took a hot poker and stuck the inside of my elbow with it, then they rubbed salt in the wound, and then....stuck me again.
The pain is radiating and I don't know why.
I don't want sympathy or anything like it. It's part of my health concerns. They won't likely go away.
Here's my thankful.
I live in Canada and had to go to the doctor yet again. I also have to go for an ultrasound (make the appointment tomorrow). It's THAT time of the year. I am not stressed about the doctor and the ultrasound.
Extrapolate and discuss among yourselves.

I think this is Day 12...

I'll count later.
What is there to be thankful for when my body aches, I can't stop coughing, and I have a fever? First? That I am alive.
Second? I finally got into the Spirit of the Season. Today.
I got the idea for my best friend's Yule gift. Here is a picture of it.....

Are you kidding me Mojo? Like I was going to show you. Bah Humbug.

I found this blog post that I wrote last year.

I wrote it on November 22, 2010 for a blog I was going to call, "As good as bacon" but for some reason didn't even start. I didn't even publish this post. It was an important one. Some things have changed since then...


I am not a writer but I am going to write about my life, health, happiness, and how I intend to get there. I am going to write about the beautiful things in life. 
Last night I went to the hospital in the middle of the night with chest pains, shortness of breath, and dizzyness. That scared the proverbial SHIT out of me. I suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis and possibly Lupus (there are 5% of Lupies that are ANA negative and I am quite possibly one of them). As well as RA and possible lupus I have Hashimoto's disease which is an autoimune disease that attacks one's thyroid gland. 
I work. I work hard. I work as a special education assistant and it is physically, emotionally, and mentally challenging. 
Needless to say, I am exhausted. All the time. Never ending. 


I WANT TO CHANGE THAT! I want to enjoy my life. There is so much to do and learn and experience on this planet and I want to do all of it. 
So, I was at the doctor's today for my weekly shot of methotrexate. He said I smelled awful. Of cigarettes. I am sure I did. I smoke. It's disgusting. When he said that He also told me that if I chose to stop smoking in the future come to him and we'd talk about options. After that, he did a check up and a final appointment for my back injury sustained at work. Then he gave me my shot. Then I asked him to help me quit smoking. I've tried the patches (I am allergic to the adhesive and they just fall off), the gum and lozenges, and wellbutrin. I've even tried quitting "cold turkey". Smoking is tough to stop. Very tough. We decided that I will try Champix. I hope I don't get in trouble for mentioning product names. With this drug you are supposed to lose the craving for cigarettes. I sure as hell hope so. 
I injured my back, so I haven't been able to do yoga for some time. Every day I go to a physical rehabilitation program. I believe in it. When I am able, I am going to return to yoga and possibly Bikram's hot yoga. 
I have plans tonight...so I am going to stop boring you with my first post. The last thing that I am going to say is that I am going to change my eating habits. I've already started by eating smaller portions. Realistic portions. Not portions that will feed a 357 lb sumo wrestler. Normal woman sized portions. Last week at the clinic where my rehab takes place people leaving the program brought doughnuts. LOTS of doughnuts. One day there were seriously 6 boxes of doughnuts for 20 people. Do you want to know how many of those irristable doughnuts I ate? None. Not a one. Do you know hard that was? 

Books, books, books

If I said I wasn't thankful for books or the ability to read I would be lying. I love reading. I read paper books, magazines, online, newspapers, signs, instructions, etc...all for joy. I've figured out that reading is my favourite past time.
There are a number of books that I have read more than once. Here is a pictorial list...

I have read each of these books at least THREE times. I am thankful that I learn something new each time.
Right now I am re-experiencing The Earth's Children Series, by Jean M Auel again...for the first time. BLISS!

I am on the ball today.

Today I am thankful for my bed.

The above bed is NOT my bed. I wish.

This is pretty too, but it's not my bed.

This is not my bed either but how pretty!

That's the spot in my bed I am going to be in in 5 minutes. It has blue jersey sheets (nice and warm) and three, yes THREE comforters. One is a Miawa cotton one with sanskrit blocking, one is a persian style jewel coloured comforter, and the one on top is a microfibre gold one. It is easy to clean and can hold up to animals being on it. It's not the prettiest but it sure is comfy. Night night for now. I have the flu.

Home Alone!

I am three days behind. Well, only  two really, if I get one done today. Which I think I will. Hopefully. We'll see how it goes.
I don't even remember what happened three days ago because yesterday was a "clusterfluckery" <---- note how I didn't curse...of yuckyness.
After a morning nap I woke up to find that I was alone in the house. It was strange because I am never alone in the house without being told that I am going to be alone in the house, but I was alone. Except for the pets. Do they count? Anyway, I sent Philip a text message to say that I was alone in the house and where might he be. I knew I wasn't going to get an answer when his iPhone "binged" to let him know he had a message but he wasn't here. Philip's iPhone and I were alone in the house.
Shortly after he came home from running to the grocery store for staples. He got milk, bread, cat food and dog food (weird that we ran out of both at the same time). When he got home he was upset. Apparently the brakes on the car were making a horrendous grinding noise and were on their way out of commission. I don't know if you understand where we live, but you cannot be driving around with your brakes grinding or squealing. You CANNOT. We live on a hill, in a city of hills beside cities of mountains. To take a walk in the neighourhood you are eventually going to have to walk up a hill and down a hill. Not necessarily in that order but at least once. You have no choice. The brakes had to be fixed and they had to be fixed immediately. That or chance dying. Not a good choice to make.
So, thankfully (first thankful of the post) Mojo knows a good mechanic so I called him and got all the details. Mojo doesn't go to his mechanic anymore though because the mechanic, Gary, is so good he talked Moje into buying a car that needs next to no maintenance. I called Gary and thankfully (TWO) he was able to fit us in. We drove there with grinding and scary brakes but made it safe and sound (thankfullly X3).
Gary said it would be awhile before he could get the car up on the joists and directed us to a little greasy spoon around the corner. "Boss" (as everyone called the host/owner/ of the greasy spoon) is a happy and funny guy and started to turn our day around. He charges $3 for a full breakfast including 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 slices of toast, and hashbrowns. Yum Yum. Two bucks for coffee in HUGE cups. For $11(that's with tax) Philip and I both had breakfast and coffee. I was thankful (four) that it was so inexpensive because we had no idea how much the repair bill was going to be. We had been quoted anything between $150 and $750 dollars. Does this car not know what time of year it is?
Did I mention that as we were leaving the house I sneezed? Then I sneezed a few times more on the way to the mechanics.
Anyhow, we ate our breakfast, got a coffee refill and spent a good hour and a half in the greasy spoon enjoying the banter of Boss and his customers. <insert sneeze here>
While we were in the cafe Gary called to tell me that THE BILL WAS ONLY GOING TO BE $250 (thankful 5). Oh, what a relief! <insert sneeze here...and add a stuffed nose>
The repair was going to take another hour so we meandered towards the DOLLAR PLUS store where NOTHING was a dollar. It was all $1.29 or more. I found a really cool and authentically Indian Kali statue that I'd like but as the repair bill was going to tap the credit card the $5 statue must wait, but "I'll be back."
<insert sneeze, stuffed and runny nose, and achy feeling>
When we finally got back to the repair shop the car was almost ready and we only had to wait about 10 minutes (6th thankful). I was so happy because by this time I was beginning to feel quite dreadful.
The bill was exactly what was left on the credit card budget this month and the car was fixed! Yay.
The car was ready in time for me to get my sick butt home and get some medicine and head to bed.
Breakfast was great and we will go back there.
Yesterday gave me enough to write about today.
I am thankful and grateful and have the flu.

Here is a picture of a car sort of like ours.

Actually, except for the fact that this isn't our car this car is exactly like our car. Same model, same colour, same everything. One more thing I am thankful for? In the 6 years we have had this car (despite many thinking this model is a lemon) yesterday's blip was only the second time something has gone wrong with it and it was actually normal wear and tear. The first time it stopped working entirely while we were driving on a highway over a bridge. Minor. I love this car. His name is Larry.
Oh look! I wrote a blog today!

Whooooooooooo Nelly!

I missed a day again. You'll forgive me. I have.

Mojo and some other friends were going to be downtown for The 99th Grey Cup festival. We thought it would be fun for me so I packed an overnight bag and headed into downtown Vancouver. I left fairly early (9am) and so a blog was not in the workings. When I got to the hotel where Mojo and C and C (I don't know if they'd want their names all over the interwebs) and their baby Astrid were staying the day began. In style. 
There's nothing like Folgers in your cup. UNLESS its Baileys in your Starbucks. OMG twice. What a way to get your day of partying started. I made a deal with myself because I know how Mojo can drink and he's got a few pounds on me...and he's a boy...and he's not on meds that you shouldn't drink with. The deal was...2 drinks...then 2 glasses of water...then 2 drinks...then two glasses of water.
This is how it went.
From the beginning.
When I got downtown, 2 drinks of baileys and coffee, two glasses of water. Then I nice lull in the day (meaning a whole 2 hours where I didn't drink) until we get to the party at the Lion's Den. I know I am forgetting something here but you'll know why shortly. 
At the Lion's Den I was good. Two beers, one glass of water, two beers. Then I danced....then I had two more beers. I was feeling fine so I didn't think the water was necessary. There was a lot of dancing. How can you NOT dance when the band is playing 80's Canadian rock and the DJ is playing club music?  It was a lot of fun...so I had two more beer. I am trying to think if that was all but I recall some more beer...oh oh oh...I had a glass of water. Then two beers. I think I might have been DRUNK. You know what I think it was? Remember I said I couldn't remember what it was that I couldn't remember. I had a Strongbow before we went to the Lion's Den. THAT WAS WHY I WAS DRUNK. The only reason. Shouldn't mix your drinks. Or miss them, like I accidently typed first. LOL. 
I might remember demurely trying to dancing like a Felion too. Oh boy.
It really was the most fun.
Now I am paying the toll for the fun.
See ya'll later.
BTW...The BC Lions won The Grey Cup. GO LIONS!! Rawr. Mew. I am tired. 


Yeah, I might have tried this move. 

The Felions practicing. Yeah, I KNOW I tried this move.

There are no pictures of me all dressed up in Lion's gear (at least that's my story and I am sticking to it). I had to tell Eskie fans that I had Stockholm Syndrome. That my captors had dressed me like this! Imagine me in this gear, minus the hair, I had Felion hair. GRRRRR.

That's a not so recent picture of Mojo and C. It may have been on Friday night, but I have a feeling it's an older picture from another Grey Cup final. I believe I was wearing Mojo's jersey (the one in this pic) last night. It went down to my knees. I had beads too! And Felion hair. And I had a Lion's hoodie until it got too hot from the dancing. And Felion hair. I was dressed to the Vancouver Fashionista Grey Cup 9's. Did I tell you that my hair was not like in this picture? It was Felion. At least part of my body is in the same shape as theirs. 
I didn't go to the game today. Three hundred and fifty smackeroosies is a bit must a month before Yule. Mind you, I was offered a ticket at two hundred and was sorely tempted. 
I would have liked to go to the game if only for one aspect...

JANN ARDEN!!!!! You will find that I love her. Nevermind, I am going to go see her tomorrow. (S)talk to her. Get her to write in the book that I am going to buy about her. Then I am going to follow her...on twitter. You thought I was going to say "home".

This one is slick...

Today I am thankful for the "kid line" of the Edmonton Oilers. Yes, young hockey players. I've been an Oilers fan for about 25 years and not since the "heyday" have I been this excited about the game. The heyday is when I started to be interested in the game. Until then I didn't know or understand it. I'd watched it with my Daddy when I was a little girl and enjoyed my time with him. But, not until I met some players did I watch avidly.
This year we got Sportsnet West on cable so that we could watch the games all the way over here in Lotusland but it didn't work. I had to order Centre Ice at 200 dollars a season (not including the playoffs-how am I going to watch the playoffs?) to be able to watch every single game that I want to, which is every one.
The "kid line" is
Jordan Eberle (21)

Taylor Hall (20)

and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins (18)

Today I am thankful for these three young men for making a short escape possible...and for making me think my beloved team could quite possibly make it to the Stanley Cup Finals in the Spring.
Three stars if you noticed that I got a picture of each player in different Oilers uniforms.
These are MY three Stars.
I think it's also because they are the same ages as my 3 sons...give or take a few months.

And on the Seventh Day...

I wrote about being thankful for my iPhone. I am thankful for the actual phone, not the provider. The provider is making my life a living hell. However, wifi is wonderful and my phone allows me to surf the web and keep busy without hurting my hands more.
Speaking of which, I am done, for today.
Ciao

Days 5 and 6

Yesterday was a tough day so I apologise for missing a blogging day. My goal is to blog every day for the full 30 days. I will try to make that happen, but sometimes it's not going to.
On with the show!
Rounding out MY THREE SONS...hey, that sounds like a reality show. Or something.
Taylor. He is my eldest son. The first thing that I am thankful for with this kid is that 21 years ago, and change, he helped me have the closest thing to a natural childbirth that I ever had. I had an epidural but it didn't take as my body doesn't like local anaesthetic. The only intervention I recall is that I had an episiotomy. In the big scheme of things...that's nothing. At least I can speak with some knowledge and conviction that a natural childbirth can be managed. I am so thankful that my son has grown up to be the man I thought and hoped he would be. He is thoughtful and kind. Taylor is (as far as I know) a good partner as well (Richelle-tell me differently if he isn't and I'll kick his ass). This son had something happen to him when he was 17 yrs old that could have altered his life forever, in a bad way. Taylor was hit by a truck while crossing the street on a rainy evening after escorting his female friend to the bus stop so she would be safe (that's the way my kids roll). He got a brain injury that made it impossible to finish high school. However, he didn't let that disable him when he could have. Despite the headaches and other problems that accompany the injury to this day, he has found a good job and excels at it. It's got room for upward movement. Even then, he is thinking of going to school when he and his girlfriend have that option. I am thankful for him. His hugs are amazing. You should try them. I love you Taylor.

Today, Grateful number 6.
This is almost MIND BLOWING. Today I am thankful for my husband, Philip. There are countless reasons starting with...who takes on a woman with 3 little kids while she is a University student and crazy? Who? C'mon, if you know someone let me know.
Anyway, that's the first of many things but today I had to put another tick on the wall.
I have rheumatoid arthritis and query lupus (that means I am sera-negative but the signs point to lupus). Every day and every week I have to take quite a few different medications. One of those medications is called methotrexate. It's an immune suppressant so that my body doesn't fight itself at every turn and cause extreme swelling in joints and organs and cause severe pain. When taken orally it works but taken as an injection it's supposed to work even better. As I wasn't seeing much of an improvement taking those 10 tablets every Wednesday (thus causing me to be ill every Thursday) my rheumatologist and I decided that taking a weekly injection would be a better idea. Now, I've had the injection before. I had to go into the clinic every week and even with an appointment I would sometimes have to wait up to 2 hours to get in and see the doctor to get the injection. Almost every week the receptionists would lose my medicine and tell me that I must have taken it home only to find it (luckily) before my 2 hour waiting period was up. Needless to say, it was a pain in the ass to wait for the injection and I ended up "forgetting" and not going and missing my dosage and finally gave it up. I am not the most compliant patient. I have patience but not THAT much patience.
Fast forward to today. We'd already agreed that Philip would give me the injection. For the last two nights I've been worrying and perseverating about him giving it to me. As it was going to be in my butt I worried that he would hit the sciatic nerve, that the needle would bounce of my rock hard glutes (hehehehe), that the needle would move and I'd bleed, that he'd pass out giving the needle, that I'd pass out getting the needle, that that that that ....OKAY...my worry NEVER stopped. Philip on the other hand was as cool as a cucumber. Every time I mentioned it he'd smile and reassure me that it was all good. It was like his closet career was nursing and that he had given injections every day for most of his adult life. No problem. Easy Peasy.
Soooooo, I decide that it's time to get this over and let him know that I wanted to get it done. NOW.
We both watched two more youtube instructional videos to make sure that we knew what we were doing. I took the lid off the vial of medication, wiped it with a swab (you don't have to but you can), and stuck the needle in to draw up the liquid. Did you know that's kind of tricky? It is. I did it though. I turned the syringe upright, checked for bubbles, tapped the syringe and pushed on the plunger expressing one tiny drop of medication. Ahhh sweet. My job was done. Now Philip's.
I dropped my drawers and laid down on the bed. I am assuming everything I am telling you now as I didn't actually see it. I was on my belly with my head buried in a pillow. Next I felt the cold wet as Philip swabbed the injection site with an alcohol swab in a clock-wise and spiral motion. Then nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
"Philip?" Nothing.
"Philip, are you going to do it?" "Is the needle in?"
"Tav, it's done"
"It's done?"
"It's done"
Philip just gave me the first injection I never felt. I didn't feel the needle going in. I didn't feel the medication going in. I didn't feel anything. It was his very first time ever giving an injection.
Then he started to shake. I could see his hands vibrating. I asked him why. He said that he was shaking because it was over.
From the very first time I told him (last week) that he would have to learn to give me injections he was worried. Terrified. He was scared that the needle would bounce off my butt, that he would pass out, that the needle would move and I would bleed...and the list went on. It was over and he could let that go. Today I am so thankful that he didn't share that with me. That he kept himself together. That's what he does with my illness. Every time something comes up he just rolls with the punches. The punches to my body that my body hits me with. Thank you Philip. I love you.

Philip with NOT the look he had on his face while giving me an injection.

Day 4 of 30 Days of Thankful

So far, so good. I've made it four days and I haven't quit yet.
Today I am thankful for two things but one is caused by the other. Because of the medication I am on my taste buds and appetite have changed drastically. First, I don't have much of an appetite and have to remind myself, and sometimes force myself, to eat. If someone else didn't remind me some days I probably wouldn't eat. I just don't get hungry any more. I'll take it though, some of the medications I am on sometimes make me gain weight and I have a bit to lose. It's not the best way, but it's a kick start. Anyway, my taste buds have also changed. Normally, I LOVE chocolate and sweets but lately chocolate is too sweet and I don't really like the taste. I also used to adore eating leafy green salads but just the thought makes my stomach turn. Fruit is also pretty much yucky lately as well. In the end I seem to like a teeny bit of protein and some carbs now and that's about it. That and Lays plain potato chips but I keep that to a minimum.
What I am really thankful for is San Pellegrino Blood Orange flavour. It is so tasty and refreshing and hydrates me. There is some real juice in it and that makes be feel good because at least then I am getting some fruit. Yes, I am laughing at that too. I would laugh if any one told me that in a serious tone. I am telling you that in a serious tone.
I am very thankful for that soda though. It makes me want to ingest something. Yay!
That brings me to the other "thing" I am grateful for. That is Jason, my second son. He's 19 and works at a grocery store. Now that he is making money he is buying some grocery items and bringing them home. The other day he brought home the san pellegrino and I fell in love....hehe
Okay, that's not the only reason that I am thankful for Jason. Jason, or Jaybird as I have called him since he was a baby is my "quiet" son. Now, I have to admit that is sort of a misnomer as his older brother (who I am also thankful for...but on another day) is also quiet. Jason is thoughtful. He's a worrier. He is funny, like his brothers, but he is also more serious than they are sometimes. Jaybird is the middle son and he has had to deal with being the middle child. When he was in elementary school Philip and I had to tell him to misbehave in school. He was too well behaved. Jason was a people pleaser and he needed to learn to please himself.
Jason is an atheist and will ask questions and he will make you think about your own spirituality. He NEVER does it in a rude or mean way. It's more that you come out of conversation thinking of things you'd never thought of. Ohhhh, I just read the part where I said Jaybird is my "quiet" son...he was also my loudest. He didn't stop screaming from the day he was born until he was 18 months old. Never. Not one day. He had a lot to say, said it, and then was quiet until he turned 18 years old. Except for the guitar. That was attached to his hip from the time he was 13 or so until he had to start working. He has less time for it now. That is another thing that I am proud of and thankful for when it comes to Jason. He works hard wherever he is working and doesn't slack off. He is also polite. I KNOW he is the man that gets up on the bus to let someone else sit. I know it. I'm also thankful that I am not a Granny yet. Thank you Jason (although you keep telling me about all the kids you have in Ireland and how happy you will be to see them again for the first time).
Jason, I can't write all the reasons I am thankful for you...just know that I am.

Jason and his baby cousin, Liam.

30 Days of Thankful Day 3

Earlier today I was explaining to Jacob, my 17 year old son, what I was doing with "30 Days of Thankful" and that I didn't know what I was going to write about today. He was sitting in the chair across from me and leaned over into my view, then leaned over some more, and then some more almost falling off of his seat. I asked him what he was doing and that I was busy trying to figure out what I was thankful for today. He started leaning over again and had his face all smooshed up and eyes buggy and basically making me laugh. He always does that when I am trying to do something. I will be washing the dishes and he'll do something silly. Sometimes, I will be trying to write a segment for The Wigglian Way and I will be really frustrated about it and Jake will say the funniest thing but then I try to tell him that I am concentrating. Other times, I will be in the most foul mood and he will use his 5 foot long legs to walk into the room funny, like a horse, or a strange marcher or something. 

So anyway, he was doing the  leaning thing and I was suddenly aware of what I was thankful for today. Today I am thankful for my witty, intelligent, silly, very handsome, and smart youngest son, Jake. 

Jake, thank you for making dinner, bringing me tea, walking the dogs, sitting with me, going shopping with me, and generally for being you. You are one of my 3 favourite sons and I LOVE YOU!!

This is Jake, making me laugh by standing in the corner of elevator. You had to be there. 

Day 2

Today I am thankful for my friends and religious community. They just happen to mostly overlap. I am a lucky and blessed woman.


*due to the nature of this post there will be no pictures.


**Well, maybe one.


***Photo to come.


****Coming


Watch for it


I am going to "OUT" my coven


Here it comes....


Here people of the public is my coven. I am thankful for them.



We look like a happy bunch don't we?

30 Days of Thankful

I thought that the time between Canadian and American Thanksgiving would be a great time to start 30 Days of Thankful. Or, at least that's the story that I am going to stick to is.
I actually just saw my friend, Tara, start it for the second year in a row. I thought, I haven't even started it once AND I have found myself mostly in a negative mood since a fateful day awhile ago when I realised that YES I was being too postive...what?? What the hell? Anyway... I also thought (I know, I know, stop with the thinking) that this project would MAKE me blog everyday for at least 30 days. Or at least make me feel guilty if I didn't. It's a Catholic blog you see. NO, I am not Catholic...the blog is. I slay me!

The things I am thankful today are medicines. I am so happy that I have medicines that can make me feel almost human. Enough that I actually got out of bed this morning and am able to type.
'Nuff said.
First entry for 30 Days of Thankful. Done.
Thank you.

Philip, my hubby, is a writer. Have I mentioned that before? I could find out if I took a quick peek at the measly first 19 posts but alas and alack...I am not going to.

Needless to say, he is a writer. It is a tough market to get into that one. Trying to find an agent or publisher is like trying to find well? an agent or a publisher. Philip's writing history is his to tell (hopefully in a book) so I am not going to go into it however, I do have some new news to share. 

Philip and I started North Strand Publishing recently. Right now we aren't exactly sure where it will go or what it's ultimate purpose is but for the here and now it is the name we are e-publishing his novels under. 

Yes, I said...publishing his novels...as in present tense.
As of this moment The Suicide of Ned Sweeney is published for download at a number of venues. I will add the links to this post.
What's important to note, right now, because I am tired and about to head to bed...is that this is MY source of income. Working for Philip and North Strand Publishing is the only job I've got right now. So, PLEASE, spread the word. Buy a copy for you, a friend, family member, or even an enemy you think should be reading more often. Share this post and the link to Philip's blog (where all the actual information is).
I am tired and think I've done enough work for one day. My fingers have are bloody from being worked to the bone today. Fifteen minutes can be tedious you know.
Also, it snowed. I hate snow. It should stay on the mountain so that Mohammed can go to there for his snow.
www.philiprobinson.net  

Go to that link and you will find links to purchase The Suicide of Ned Sweeney on Kindle, kobo, nook, Sony and other e-readers.
I am not a big girl yet so I don't know how to imbed links. Wait, it's coming. Like walking or talking.

When I grow up

When I grow up I want to be like Dorli Rainey. She is an amazing woman who has always lived a life of courage and stands up for what she believes.
She is one of those "punk kids" that is Occupying your neighbourhood.

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/money/recession/video-police-pepper-spray-84-year-old-dorli-rainey-occupy-seattle

I know who's getting a lump of coal for Yule!

And it's no one you know.
Interestingly, a good percentage of my posts have been about this person.
Today, I was walking the dogs in the neighbourhood. It's autumn and there are a lot of leaves on the ground. So many, in fact, that while I was walking the dog I slipped and fell. Luckily, I still had the dog's leashes wrapped around my hand and they didn't get loose. There can only be ONE reason for me to be afraid that my dogs might get loose from me in my own neighbourhood. On a quiet street. These are good boys and if you tell them to stop they will stop. They won't run away from you. Ziggy might try to attack you viciously if you are a mailman but that couldn't happen, could it? It could. However, it didn't...because the leashes were wrapped around my hand even after I fell. On to the concrete. Hard.
It could have happened though. Ziggy could have attacked the mailman because he was only 4 feet away from me. Maybe six feet. I looked up, hoping that he would help me up but all he said (in a disinterested tone) was, "are you okay?"
ASSHOLE! Why couldn't you help me up? Were you afraid Ziggy was going to attack you viciously? Bastard!
I don't like you and you are getting coal for Christmas/Yule. If you were a nice mailman I might get you a Timmies card. But, you are NOT a nice mailman, or man, or person for that matter.

Coal I tells ya!

OH EM GEE
I have waited far too long to complete this story. It almost doesn't matter anymore. However, I will share with you the two documents that finish up the tail (tale) quite nicely. At least...I think I will. Maybe. If I can find the photos. I thought I had them right here. Hold on.....
Wait...
Wait...
And rest...
I found my response to Canada Posts rudeness but I cannot find their original letter.
In the meantime, here is my hurried note back to them. Bastards.

Since this incident we have kept our front door closed and locked when Ziggy is "on the loose". One day, while Ziggy was in Jason's bedroom keeping the boy company I had the door open. Murphy was laying next to my computer chair dozing...as is his will...until he heard a noise on the steps. He growled a bit and made his warbly sound. Yes WARBLY sound. You figure it out. In any case, the postie got frightened and turned around without delivering our mail that day. I can't believe it. To this day.


So, while I haven't been blogging I have been VERY busy. I've been concocting things. Like food. Like cleaners. Like antiperspirant. Like plans.
Our publishing company, North Strand Publishing, is getting set to release The Suicide of Ned Sweeney by Philip Robinson any moment now. Literally, any moment. That is if I get off the computer any moment.
I'll let you know how things are going. Oh, I also went to Salem. Witch City. While I was there I got some ink. Truly. Sweet.
Love>

It's a dogs dinner!

You are not going to believe this shit. I don't believe this shit. It's...well...unbelievable shit.
Two days ago I was on the computer doing some research for Philip when all of a sudden Ziggy jumps at the screen door and it opens. The latch doesn't catch properly.  He started barking his usual greeting barking...which admittedly is LOUD. Barely awake, I run out the door to call Ziggy back into the house. I register that the mailman is there and Ziggy is barking at him. By this time Murphy is there too making the "marbles in his mouth" sort of growling sort of barking noise he makes which never fails to make us laugh. It seems like slow motion and I see a canister of something in the mailman's hand. That something was pepper spray and he proceeded to spray Ziggy's face and back with it. I couldn't believe what I was seeing because not only did he just spray Ziggy he was about to spray Murphy! Murphy making his warbling sound. Murphy who is 13lbs. Murphy who in his 10 yrs has not bitten or hurt anyone even if they pulled on his ears or poked his eyes...when he had eyes...he only has one now. Ziggy ran up the stairs whimpering quietly and I let him in the house.
I wanted to go in the house and take care of Ziggy but at the same time I needed to know what was in the canister and why the mailman sprayed him. This public servant said that Ziggy "charged" him and scared him and he didn't know if the animal was going to bite him. I can see that. You never know when an animal is going to bite. UNLESS you have studied dog behaviour and can differentiate between a dog that is going to bite you and one that is not. You would think that postal employees would take one of those classes. Haven't they been in a war with dogs since the beginning of door to door mail service?
By the way, have I mentioned that Ziggy isn't a rottweiller or a pit bull or a german shepherd or any sort of dog that is typically a bit more scary than other dogs? Sorry, I should have told you that Ziggy is a schnoodle. Even the name "schnoodle" is funny. It is part schnauzer and part poodle. Ziggy is maybe 18 pounds. Ziggy always greets everyone exuberantly. No one is ever scared of him. Until the day before yesterday. Unbelievable.
More tomorrow on this story....
Here is picture of my vicious hounds.

Here's the dealio...

I've been away for a bit. I just couldn't summon the energy to actually write a blog post. As I said in the previous post I had the BLUES. It was a bit more than that and the doctor put me on two anti-depressants. The medication is helping and I am beginning to feel human again. Beginning to feel my body, mind, and spirit starting to "gel" again.
That's something interesting in itself...my body doesn't like me...at all. I've mentioned previously, as well, that I have Lupus, and RA (rheumatoid arthritis), hashimoto's disease, and likely a condition called Sjogren's. When last I felt this sad and yucky I was right in the middle of finding out I had Hashimoto's disease. What that is, is a disorder where the thyroid gland is attacked by the immune system causing one of two conditions. You can go between hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism (usually in what is called a "storm"). I have hypothyroidism as my thyroid gland is not producing hormone. I have never gone to the hyper side and usually control the thyroid hormone with dessicated thyroid tablets. Sometimes, the condition gets worse and you won't even know it. Your body will produce even less hormone or need more hormone or the medication is not working the way it should and you find that you are fatigued, your hair is falling out, skin is not as fresh, you are short with people, you cry all the time, etc etc etc. What does that look like? DEPRESSION!
See, I am not crazy? I had blood work done when I went to the doctor and last week the doctor's office called and said I needed to come in. I couldn't go to a regular clinic doctor at the office. I HAD to see my family doctor. Today she confirmed that my thyroid is acting up. It may be a pain response so along with the depression meds I am going back on a Lupus medication called methotrexate...or as I like to call it...METH. LOL
Hey, what to you call a female hero? Just wondering.
I also have dry kidneys (whatever that is) and that is being monitored.
Soon I will get some projects on the go so I have something to talk about here.

Coming next blog post: My community's annual camping trip and some thoughts on it.

Life is not always a bowl of cherries. Sometimes it's the pits. Once in awhile, no matter how strong you are, things get a little rough. Even for me.
See, often folks think I am a rock. That I am strong and nothing gets to me. Usually, I can handle everything piled on me. Occasionally, I cannot fight the battle without some help.
Here's the thing. Remember I told you that I have RA and Lupus? Sometimes those conditions are so tiring. So debilitating. So exhausting. So painful. Sometimes it is all that and then "life" gets in the way too and sometimes you get the blues. I've got the BLUES. 
In January I stopped working so that I could enjoy my life. At the same time I went off my RA and Lupus medications. I went off them because I was taking them to be able to work. Not working? Why take the meds?
BECAUSE THE PAIN WILL DEPRESS YOU SILLY!!!
Needless to say, I am on some medication that will assist me to get back on track. Soon (as soon as I can get a specialist appointment) I will get back to my rheumatologist and get back on my proper immune suppressants. Sucks, but somebodies got to do it.
I am slowly getting back in the saddle again.

Canada Day Fail?

Yesterday was Canada Day and I had a great day. I felt so much pride for my country. We were at a celebration in Downtown Vancouver. Yes, the same Vancouver that only two weeks ago experienced the trauma of riots for absolutely no reason. This isn’t about the riots though. It’s not about Vancouver specifically. It’s about the fact that on multiple occasions yesterday as I was sitting and enjoying the music and the weather conversations were going on all around me and many of them weren’t in English and it was so amazingly beautiful.  I heard laughter everywhere and THAT was all the same language.

This post is about another thing that happened on Canada Day in another city not so far away. In Edmonton, Alberta, my Uncle Bert decided that he would celebrate the day by going to his “local” and shooting some games of pool.

This is his story in his words...

Bert Crowfoot 

I thought I’d put on my red shirt and go out and celebrate Canada Day by going to the Gallery Bar in the Mayfield Inn and playing pool with friends. 

I’m proud to be a Canadian and always open to people from other races and culture. I really didn’t understand why some Native people still have a real hatred to white people.

Unfortunately I do now. There were three skin heads playing pool and I put my $$$$ down to play the next game. I didn’t realize they were skin heads and they did everything they could to delay the games.

When my turn came, he broke and took the 8 ball and put it in the corner pocket and said you win..AND LAUGHED IN MY FACE. He turned and he and his buddies were giving each other high fives, laughing at how they made a fool out of a person who wasn’t as pure as they were.

Man was I pissed. My first reaction was to tune him up with my cue… but I kept my cool. The worst thing was they kept laughing and pointing at me all night. I kept getting pissed off and was tempted to follow them home and show them a little Indian justice.

My friend kept reminding me that it wasn’t worth it. I now really understand how our people feel when this happens to them and the anger and hatred it creates. Coming home, I was reminded of a saying my great great grandfather Chief Crowfoot had He said, “ I have friends and I have enemies…. I have white friends and I have Indian friends…. I have white enemies and I have Indian enemies…. I have friends and I have enemies….

I just wanted to add…. “There are assholes…. There are white assholes and there are Indian assholes.… Yes there are assholes....” The world is full of them…. And I happened to meet three of them tonight.

I also remembered that I have many white friends who have treated me with respect and honor and I’m not going to let three racists ruin my day..

I hope every one had a happy Canada Day….

That happened yesterday and last night Uncle Bert posted his Story.

Then today, he posted on Facebook a comment by his friend Lyndon Oochoo

I am leaving the Facebook formatting in so you can see what Bert said and what Lyndon said.

Bert Crowfoot: After last night I thought I'd share this beautiful post by Lyndon Oochoo
once again the creator blessed us with the oppurtunity to awaken and share this world with each other, maybe we should just stop and give thanx for the way the creator has made us, it doesnt matter what size or shape we are , we are all made the way the creator wanted us to be, when someone teases or just makes remarks about ppl

Top of Form

Lyndon Oochoo: they arent makin fun of the person they are talking about , they are makin fun of the work the Creator has done, and they will have to answer for it..some ppl just like going around saying mean stuff to other ppl because,of their own imperfections or because they think they are funny..they dont stop to think of the ppl they hurt with the things they say..i feel really sorry for the ppl who go around doing this, because when its their turn to leave this world they will have alot of apologizing to do and begging for forgiveness, not to us but to the spirit that made us who we are...

Lyndon Oochoo
this makes me think of the animals i work with (horses)..i have come to see and work with alot of beautiful horses in my days, horses that everybody admired and wanted..but then i also worked with horses that didnt look so perfect that ppl laffed at..the ones that were admired were usually the ones that gave me the most problems, it was the other ones that turned out to be the the easiest to work with always willing to learn and accept what they must endure in life, those are the ones that ppl will enjoy the most...those are the ones that make the BEST FREINDS...

Bert’s and Lyndon’s  thoughts are provoking and I needed to share them with you. Share this blog and/or Facebook Note (because I am putting it up on both). Let the world know what you think. Let’s stop bullying and hatred. There is no point.

It’s all about the LOVE. 

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

O Canada we stand on guard for thee.

We will go to the place of devastation only a month ago and show the World that where we live is a fun, gorgeous,and safe place to live. 

Pictures to follow.